I’ve got your back

I have always been slightly obsessed with images of men’s and women’s items when they are next to each other.  Not ones that you see in a magazine or catalog when a company is showing you both the men’s and women’s versions.  I’m talking about items you come across in everyday life that belong to the man and woman of the house.  Things that just happen to be next to each other for whatever reason.  The more haphazard it looks the better.  I love the contrast of the smaller daintier version of the woman’s next to the slightly bigger and more demanding presence of the man’s version.

Seeing something like that says a great deal to me.  It tells a story if you look at it close enough.

The one thing that it always makes me think of is love.

I envision that there’s a strong man behind that item.  One that fiercely loves his companion and will gladly defend her at any given chance.  Someone that knows her personality like the back of his own hand and loves that personality.  Someone who’s favorite thing to do is to spend time with her over everything else.  Someone who has no problem saying I love you in front of others.

I would imagine that the woman behind her item knows all these things and is really happy in life.  She takes care of her man the best way that she can.  She tries to make everyday special just so he knows that he’s special and loved.  And maybe he does leave socks laying around but that’s okay because what they have is more than just socks left by the couch.

I like how the larger version seems like it’s sort of protecting the smaller version.  Not that I’m saying the woman needs protection, like she can’t take care of herself.  I mean it more like, he’s got her back.

Support all the way.


Whenever I saw an image like that, I thought, “This is what I want the most out of life.”  Some women dream of their weddings and all that hoopla since they’ve been kids.  I really couldn’t give a flip about that stuff.  I just wanted love.  Real love.  True love.  Weddings, parties, and things didn’t and don’t matter to me because that’s not what’s important.  Love is important.

To be perfectly honest with you, I always thought that was wishful thinking on my part because I didn’t really think I would ever find that kind of love.  I would tell you that I have a difficult personality to get along with because this is how I perceive it. Perhaps others don’t find it difficult but I’ve experienced plenty to tell me my hunch is founded.

I’m not a girlie-girl by any means.  Like at all.  I swear a lot, I’m a tomboy, and I’m pretty straight forward.  I have no problem calling you out on your bullshit when you’re dishing it out.  I’m also very honest so if you ask me a question, be prepared for a real answer because I’m not going to sugarcoat things just for your benefit.  I have an extremely transparent face when something is annoying me or pissing me off, it’s going to show.  I’ll also tell you about it immediately.  I don’t play games.

Past dating life showed me that at first guys thought I was “cool” but eventually something happened and I wasn’t cool anymore.  I can’t tell you what happened because none of them would tell me even though I asked.  I honestly really wanted to know.  See my no playing games statement.  So I ditched them and moved on. Or sometimes they ditched me and moved on.  And by ditched, I mean started acting as if I stopped existing.  Fun!

Even though I was young at the time, I pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I would probably live a life of short dating stints but not find anything meaningful.  Even though I strongly believe in the theory that there is someone for everyone, I didn’t think I would be able to find my someone.

Then Scott entered my life at a point when I was so over dudes it wasn’t even funny.  We were friends and had a really nice relationship.  He wanted to date and I told him to get stuffed.  I had been down this road before.  Starting off as friends and then the guy says, “You’re awesome and I want to take this to a different level.  I’m in love with you.” only to have said dude get bored or whatever after a month or so.  So much for love.

So when Scott told me that he wanted to start dating I said no.  The thing about Scott that most people don’t know and probably will never witness, is that he doesn’t give up.  And this dude would not go away.  I mean like really would not go away.

Eventually he wore me down with Sunday night phone calls and Alice In Chains CDs that he made for me (this was the 90s, so making a CD wasn’t as easy as it is now. It took hours.), and we started dating.

And here we are, 13 years, a marriage, and a kid (Rocky) later.  We’ve lived in three states together and countless neighborhoods.  We don’t fight (honestly, we don’t) and we get along ridiculously well.

Now when I look at pictures like the one above, I realize that it’s my own.  Those are our boots and the picture was taken in our house.

Love. I gots it.

Happy Birthday Babies!   I love you!

P.S. I’ve got your back. 100%

11 thoughts on “I’ve got your back

  1. I love this post, so happy to read about your happiness. I know how ya feel! And you’ve inspired me to work on a photo project with all our male/female things. Very cool! :)

  2. What a beautiful post! Happy Birthday Scott!

    I am very similar – too straight forward, too honest… I am happy to hear I am not the only one.

    And almost every day, I think about how wonderful it is to have someone’s 100% support. Not all couples have that! We knew a couple who mocked each other when they took on exercise endeavors! That just seems awful to me. The great thing about having a partner is knowing they will always be there for you.

  3. I love this post! Happy birthday to Scott!

    Thanks for sharing so much about yourself. I feel like I can really relate. I think of myself as very difficult to “get along” with. I’m VERY independent, and I see this as a weakness, rather than a strength when it comes to relationships. You reinforce my hope that there is someone out there and I’ll find him at the right time!

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