{"id":12646,"date":"2010-12-09T12:23:06","date_gmt":"2010-12-09T16:23:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/foodembrace.com\/?p=12646"},"modified":"2010-12-09T12:23:06","modified_gmt":"2010-12-09T19:23:06","slug":"how-to-address-mail-to-couples-with-different-last-names","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/foodembrace.com\/2010\/12\/how-to-address-mail-to-couples-with-different-last-names\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Address Mail To Couples With Different Last Names"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>It’s the holiday season and holiday cards are getting sent out in large batches.\u00a0 New contacts have been added to your list this year because you’ve met so many new people.\u00a0 You know some of them are married but aren’t sure if the wife has changed her name.\u00a0 You know for sure that a few have not and you’re stuck on how to address cards and packages to these lovely folks.<\/p>\n

Let Auntie Andie help you out.\u00a0 As someone who did not change her name upon marriage and who lived with her significant other for many years before marriage, I’ve been the recipient of many letters, cards, and packages gone wrong.\u00a0 To be honest, I’m really not sure why there is such confusion but I’m here to help you out on how to address mail to those with different last names.<\/p>\n

As part of my research I did a Google search to see what other people have to say on the matter and everything I found related to wedding invitations.\u00a0 Interesting, no?\u00a0 Nothing relating to addressing regular mail.\u00a0 This, and many cards addressed to me in humorous and frustrating manners,\u00a0 have prompted this small tutorial.<\/p>\n


\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Married and Unmarried Couples:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don’t:
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do not just assume that the wife has changed her name and address the letter\/card\/package old-school formal style. Example:<\/p>\n

Mr. and Mrs. Scott Coder<\/p>\n

123 Happy Lane<\/p>\n

Peppermint City, OH 33332<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Unless you know without a doubt, 100%, you’d bet your life on it, that the wife does not mind having her name erased and her husband’s full name used in its place, this is not acceptable<\/em>. Unmarried couples are included in this because sometimes when a couple has been together for ages and they will be getting married, some folks find it cute to address cards and such in this manner.<\/p>\n

It is not cute.<\/p>\n

Never assume<\/em> that the female in the equation is down with this.<\/p>\n

If you are unsure if the wife has changed her name, ASK<\/strong>.\u00a0 You will not look like a fool if you ask first but you will look like a fool if you assume and address the card improperly.\u00a0 Remember gang, unless you know without a doubt, the above example is never okay.<\/p>\n

A better option would be (and this is ONLY USED<\/strong> if you know the wife has changed their name):<\/p>\n

Do: <\/strong><\/p>\n

Mr. Scott and Mrs. Andrea Coder<\/p>\n

123 Happy Lane<\/p>\n

Peppermint City, OH 33332<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Acknowledge the wife and that she actually has a first name and use it in addressing mail.<\/p>\n

Now let’s get down to business and discuss couples with different last names.<\/p>\n

Do’s and Don’ts for Addressing Mail to Couples with Different Last Names:<\/strong><\/p>\n

If The Couple Is Married:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Your best friend or favorite cousin just got married and kept her last name.\u00a0 You want to send her and her husband a card, but how should it be addressed?<\/p>\n

Do:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Address the card with each name on a separate line. Research shows that married couples should go on the same line but, in my opinion, that can look sloppy, especially when dealing with long last names. I say put them on separate lines like this:<\/p>\n

Ms. Andrea Bloggins<\/p>\n

Mr. Scott Coder<\/p>\n

123 Happy Lane<\/p>\n

Peppermint City, OH 33332<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Don’t:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Address the wife as “Mrs.” If she didn’t change her name it’s a safe bet that she doesn’t want to be called Mrs. If you are unsure ASK her.<\/strong> Or ask her husband.\u00a0 People would rather be asked first than have mail addressed to them incorrectly. Trust me.<\/p>\n

If The Couple Is Not Married:<\/strong><\/p>\n

The same rules apply as if the couple were married.\u00a0 Please see above example.<\/p>\n

This also applies to same-sex couples.<\/p>\n

Whether the couple is married or not married:
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do not just use the first name of one of the people on the same line. Example:<\/p>\n

Don’t:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ms. Andrea Bloggins and Scott (or vice versa)<\/p>\n

123 Happy Lane<\/p>\n

Peppermint City, OH 33332<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This not only makes it look like the other person is an afterthought but it is also clear that the person sending the mail is clueless.\u00a0 Don’t be that person.\u00a0 Address each individual and make them feel important.<\/p>\n

Do:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Always provide a title (Mr., Ms., Mrs.) to the person you are addressing the letter to.\u00a0 These are adults we are referring to and adults should always have a title put before their name.<\/p>\n

Don’t:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Take one last name and use it “family” style.\u00a0 Example:<\/p>\n

To The Bloggins Family<\/p>\n

123 Happy Lane<\/p>\n

Peppermint City, OH 33332<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

People with different last names don’t really want to be referred to in that way.<\/p>\n

\n

Putting it simply, if your name is Tom, you probably would get a tad miffed if people kept calling you Paul.\u00a0 After all, Paul isn’t your name.\u00a0 I’m sure you would correct someone if they called you by the wrong name, right?\u00a0 Same rules apply to those with different last names.\u00a0 They don’t want to be called by the wrong name.<\/p>\n

These are not rules set in stone but gentle suggestions from someone who has been dealing with such a situation for over a decade.\u00a0 Take your time this year addressing holiday cards and packages (though these rules apply to addressing general mail as well) and make sure you address them properly.\u00a0 Not only will you feel better but the recipient will feel like you know what you’re doing and that you care.<\/p>\n

Now go forth and address mail with confidence!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s the holiday season and holiday cards are getting sent out in large batches.\u00a0 New contacts have been added to your list this year because you’ve met so many new people.\u00a0 You know some of them are married but aren’t sure if the wife has changed her name.\u00a0 You know for sure that a few […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[58],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4KYWa-3hY","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foodembrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12646"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foodembrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foodembrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foodembrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foodembrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foodembrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12646\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foodembrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foodembrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foodembrace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}