Review: Mary’s Gone Crackers Herb Flavor

Mary's Gone Crackers Herb Flavor

Mary's Gone Crackers Herb Flavor

And now I bring you OHC’s first raw and unedited review.  This is a conversation between the Pres and VP of OHC.  Be forewarned that this is not for the faint of heart. Please act responsibly. May not be appropriate for all audiences.

Setting: OHC HQ kitchen, where the magic happens. And also swearing, double dipping, and disregard for napkins.

Scott: What are those?

Me: These are crackers that are taking the blog world by storm apparently. People have gone crackers. *rolls eyes, makes jazz hands and shakes them, looks silly*

Scott: Nice what you did there. What’s special about them?

Me: I think it’s that they are free of everything.

Scott: What do you mean, free?

Me: Like gluten free, dairy free…

Scott: Flavor free?

Me: I’m not sure about that. I just know these are totally free and not repressed crackers.



Opens box and pulls out some crackers.

Me: Wow perhaps I need to be more open minded because these do not look like crackers.

Scott: They look like…

Me: Shut it! We’re about to actually eat them, alright. I do not want that image.

Each takes one and proceeds to eat it. Scott smells the cracker before ingesting as is his custom.

Scott: These are weird.

Me: Totally, right. What a bizarre little cracker. I use this term loosely.

Scott: They have a familiar taste.

Me: Really? Like what?

Not Repressed Crackers

Not Repressed Crackers

Scott: Give me a minute.

Me: *coughing* Okay these are not crackers to just munch on.  Let me get out some hummus.

Scott: Doesn’t help. I can still taste the taste.

Me: It’s slightly less for me. These are much better with something. I do not think they can handle being alone. They are actually not so free.

Scott: MORNINGSTAR SAUSAGE PATTIES! That’s what these taste like.

Me: You are on crack.

Scott: Whatever, that is the taste.

Few minutes pass, more “crackers” are eaten.

Me: You’re totally right. Veggie sausage patties right there.

Scott: I know! The crispy surface bit that gets the most skillet time, that’s these crackers.

Me: Totally. Sausage crackers. Yup.

Scott: See.  I can’t eat these. Sausage crackers not my thing.

Sausage Crackers

Sausage Crackers

I proceeded to try them again, plain, with hummus, and crushed in a salad and the consensus is that these are sausage crackers.  Whatever herb is supposed to be in these does not stand out.  I can’t taste anything other than crispy sausage bits. While tasty on sausage, not tasty on crackers.Would I get these again? No. I still have the box and occasionally break them out but they are not something I reach for.

Would I eat them? Yes. If someone served them with a dip, mind you, then I would eat them because they are edible. They are just not desirable. I also think that if a product has to put, “Tastes great!” on the box, that says a great deal about the product.

These aren’t too common and I’ve only seen them in a few grocery stores.  If you are looking for totally free crackers, give them a try, you might like them.  The HQ is sticking with repressed crackers.

P.S. Sorry there was no Tuesday Tip yesterday, HQ life is super crazy at the moment! I know you understand.

5 thoughts on “Review: Mary’s Gone Crackers Herb Flavor

  1. Jazz hands make the world a better place.

    Though, as I said to Wa-wa in the pool yesterday, you can’t be in show choir if you can’t do jazz hands and you can’t do jazz hands with webbed hands (she had her aqua gloves on for more resistance – ha, resistance goes with your theme today.)

  2. Hehe. I can just imagine you guys having this conversation. I bet they’d be great with cheese, but then I guess you’re defeating the purpose :)

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