And now I bring you OHC’s first raw and unedited review. This is a conversation between the Pres and VP of OHC. Be forewarned that this is not for the faint of heart. Please act responsibly. May not be appropriate for all audiences.
Setting: OHC HQ kitchen, where the magic happens. And also swearing, double dipping, and disregard for napkins.
Scott: What are those?
Me: These are crackers that are taking the blog world by storm apparently. People have gone crackers. *rolls eyes, makes jazz hands and shakes them, looks silly*
Scott: Nice what you did there. What’s special about them?
Me: I think it’s that they are free of everything.
Scott: What do you mean, free?
Me: Like gluten free, dairy free…
Scott: Flavor free?
Me: I’m not sure about that. I just know these are totally free and not repressed crackers.
Opens box and pulls out some crackers.
Me: Wow perhaps I need to be more open minded because these do not look like crackers.
Scott: They look like…
Me: Shut it! We’re about to actually eat them, alright. I do not want that image.
Each takes one and proceeds to eat it. Scott smells the cracker before ingesting as is his custom.
Scott: These are weird.
Me: Totally, right. What a bizarre little cracker. I use this term loosely.
Scott: They have a familiar taste.
Me: Really? Like what?
Scott: Give me a minute.
Me: *coughing* Okay these are not crackers to just munch on. Let me get out some hummus.
Scott: Doesn’t help. I can still taste the taste.
Me: It’s slightly less for me. These are much better with something. I do not think they can handle being alone. They are actually not so free.
Scott: MORNINGSTAR SAUSAGE PATTIES! That’s what these taste like.
Me: You are on crack.
Scott: Whatever, that is the taste.
Few minutes pass, more “crackers” are eaten.
Me: You’re totally right. Veggie sausage patties right there.
Scott: I know! The crispy surface bit that gets the most skillet time, that’s these crackers.
Me: Totally. Sausage crackers. Yup.
Scott: See. I can’t eat these. Sausage crackers not my thing.
I proceeded to try them again, plain, with hummus, and crushed in a salad and the consensus is that these are sausage crackers. Whatever herb is supposed to be in these does not stand out. I can’t taste anything other than crispy sausage bits. While tasty on sausage, not tasty on crackers.Would I get these again? No. I still have the box and occasionally break them out but they are not something I reach for.
Would I eat them? Yes. If someone served them with a dip, mind you, then I would eat them because they are edible. They are just not desirable. I also think that if a product has to put, “Tastes great!” on the box, that says a great deal about the product.
These aren’t too common and I’ve only seen them in a few grocery stores. If you are looking for totally free crackers, give them a try, you might like them. The HQ is sticking with repressed crackers.
P.S. Sorry there was no Tuesday Tip yesterday, HQ life is super crazy at the moment! I know you understand.