That's right, Tostitos

This is in honor of Cinco de Mayo! Which yes, yes, I realize was yesterday.  However, I don’t do reviews on Tuesdays so you’re just going to have to live with it being today.

I knew you’d understand.

This right here is my favorite salsa.  Yes that’s right, MY FAVORITE.  Before your head explodes from the fact that this is a Frito-Lay product and it doesn’t say “Organic” or some other buzz word and it resides permanently at the OHC HQ, let me explain myself.  The first time I ever had salsa I was probably around 12 years old.  It was introduced into my family from an outsider who clearly had been eating salsa for a long time because it’s a common thing to everyone else.  But in my little podunk town people didn’t really eat ‘tat ‘ere salsa stuffs.  My parents never bought it and it was never served at any of my friends’ houses. Weird?  Totally.  But when I tell you that the first day of buck hunting was considered a holiday and we didn’t have to go to school (no really, there was no school that day) and people could miss work, perhaps you’ll understand why salsa  was not a popular snack.

That said, from my first bite of salsa I was in love with it.  It was awesome!  I preferred it chilled but would eat it any way you tossed it at me.  And from that point on I tried to be around salsa as much as possible.  I’ve grown since then and can now handle the medium spice level of salsa.  I realize how impressed you are with my heat tolerance maturity level.  I’m impressed with myself as well, so we have something in common already!

Because of my love for salsa I have tried lots of varieties.  And I’ve tried plenty of the organic and other froo-froo salsas.  None of which I like.  I disliked them so much I wouldn’t even eat them.  Some of them taste very manufactured and fake.  Some of them had a chemical kind of taste that sat on my tongue like an acid mouthwash.

Yuck. I know.

I do tend to like the salsas from Mexican restaurants. And I mean small family owned ones, not places like Chi-Chi’s or Chili’s.  Oh Chili’s; it wants to be Mexican but isn’t at all and has a sort of identity crisis that it can’t seem to get under control.  But I digress.

Since we don’t get Mexican all that often (or at all now really) I have to find an alternative supplier.  Enter in my Tostitos affair.  By now you all know me and how I am with ingredients.  It needs to be short and I need to be able to understand everything.  Tostitos salsa fits that requirement. Check it.

All things I understand

Yes “Natural Flavor” is vague but everything else is recognizable and it’s all vegetables.  That is awesome.  This salsa has a perfect chunky to sauce ratio, which clearly sounds disgusting if taken out of context.  Or not if that’s how you roll.  I don’t judge.

There is plenty of veggies mixed with the right amount of tomato sauce.  And the most awesome thing about it is the taste.  It tastes fresh.  It does not taste like it came off the assembly line and has no weird chemical acid mouthwash going on.  And I would be lying to you if I said that at no time have I ever stood around the kitchen and ate it right from the jar with a spoon.

I know you don’t judge either.

I’m just keeping it real and providing evidence so that you’ll see not everything is organic and from Whole Foods at the HQ. Sometimes we cross the tracks to the other side of town.  It’s fun over there and dancing isn’t illegal.

This salsa is pretty widely available and I buy mine by the big honking jars at Sam’s.  If you like salsa, don’t be afraid to try some Tostitos.  The ingredients are spot on.  Now if you go exploring deeper into the other side of town and start messing around with the Ranch Dip and the one that calls himself Salsa Con Queso, you are on you’re own there. I’m not bailing you out of that.  I won’t judge but just make lots of “tsk tsk” sounds that will probably annoy you. Don’t mix with the wrong crowd, yo.

Stick with straight-up Salsa, he at least has good intentions.