Review: Yves Meatless Pepperoni

Yves Meatless Pepperoni

Yves Meatless Pepperoni

Guys don’t even ask me what I was thinking when I bought this product.  Usually, I try to stay away from imitation meat products.  Yes, I’ll eat a Morningstar or Boca something-or-other every so often but it’s not a huge part of my diet.  So why I picked up these meatless pepperoni slices is beyond me.

Maybe I was looking for a healthier version of pepperoni because let’s face it, pepperoni is some scary shit.  Tasty with just the right amount of spice and kick, but damn scary.

Side tangent, did anyone else grow up eating hot pepperoni sandwiches? Sandwich pepperoni (or little rounds if that’s all you got), some cheese, on a bun, wrapped in foil and heated in the oven till melty warm.  It’s mighty fine eats.  As long as you don’t think too hard about what makes up that pepperoni. ;)

Anyway, back to the review!  I tried reading the ingredient list but that ended up being a crazy long tale that didn’t seem to have a plot so I left it alone.  Plus it made me realize how much processing and manipulation it takes to get something that is not meat to resemble meat and that made me nervous.  Wait. Isn’t that same thing for regular pepperoni as well?

Meatless Pepperoni Slice

Meatless Pepperoni Slice

Maybe it is just like pepperoni?!  I pulled it out of the package and it was sort of slick like regular pepperoni.  I smelled it and I’ll be dang, it smelled  just like pepperoni too!  Well this was starting to look promising and all my negative thoughts were receding.

However the look of it isn’t so appealing.  I think they tried a bit too hard here.  I mean, we all know that pepperoni has some nasty bits in it and typically they are small so we can easily shove the sight to the back of our minds.  But Yves lets you know there are mysterious things in this fake pepperoni slice by making them gigantic!

As if to say, “Oh so you want to eat pepperoni, do ya?  Well here’s a meatless version and just for good measure we threw in some huge gelatinous unidentifiable vegetable matter!  Chew on this suckas!”

Or something.

So while it smelled like pepperoni and was slippery like pepperoni, it did not taste nor have the texture of pepperoni.  This slice was very soft and there was almost new chew to it at all.  I didn’t care for it and couldn’t even eat an entire little slice.  I called in Scott.  He’s my backup, because if I won’t eat something he usually will.   I had him try a plain one and then one I heated up in a skillet.  He didn’t like them.  He also did not think they looked or smelled like pepperoni, so we differ there.

The packaged ended up getting tossed.  I wouldn’t even think about eating these again nor would I even purchase another Yves meatless product.  Yves gets an A for effort but the taste and texture just quite aren’t there.  They deserve a beer for giving it a good old college try (and to help wash down the nastiness that is the meatless pepperoni)!

17 thoughts on “Review: Yves Meatless Pepperoni

    • Rob says:

      Good review, thanks for doing this because I’ve been looking for low fat alternatives. I think I will go back to my “sneaky” fat removal process. Lay your pepperoni on a paper towel, put in the microwave for 10-12 seconds, remove immediately and blot out all the fat that liquified. Your pepperoni will now have little holes in it where the nasty fat once was, and magically, it still tastes like pepperoni. If you leave it in too long, it will harden into those things that resemble imitation bacon bits, and pretty good crunched up on a healthy salad.
      Rob

  1. Haha, thanks for the review, I will remember to never get those!

    I’ve actually never been a huge pepporoni fan for some reason and I’m glad or I’d probably be wishing I could eat some right now ; )

  2. Yrrrg….

    That’s just nasty looking. I love pepperoni, but like Helen, I only ever eat it on pizza, and that’s not very often. Of course, when I worked at pizza joints, I’d usu grab a couple handfulls during my shift….

    As to what’s in pepperoni…eh…just don’t think about it. Most sausage is made with the stuff they scrape off the slaughterhouse floor.

    I made the mistake of reading the ingredients on a package of chorizo (one of my faves) once. It was very disturbing, but as long as I don’t think about it while I’m eating it, I’m fine.

  3. I made pizza pepperoni buns the other day with meatless pepperoni…yuck! It did smell like pepperoni, like you said the the texture was not there, it was tough.

  4. Lets see, I tried SmartDogs (nasty) and 2 different vegan cheese (gross & nasty) and thus REFUSE to buy another meatless product again!

    tofurkey deli slices are just Ok…but ingredients are scary.

  5. Lol those look…interesting :)

    Have you tried turkey pepperoni? I really like it. Although I haven’t really studied the ingredients list, so I’m sure they’re not much better…but they are real meat!

  6. I am with Sara – I buy turkey pepperoni – and 17 slices is one serving! It comes pretty close to the real deal – its made by Hormel.

  7. Haha I actually liked this stuff! Oh well, to each her own. I don’t like making fake meat a staple in my diet but these were good in a veggie calzone.

    Thanks for visiting my blog :)

    Yours it totally great, I’m going to read though it now :)

  8. I tried that before! It was totally disgusting. but I didn’t want to toss it out, so I just pan-fried it to a dark crsp and ate it with TONS of ketchup.

  9. VeganMooCow says:

    I have to agree, these fake-meat products are a hit-and-miss depending on each product.

    However, don’t cross Yves Veggie from your list just yet. I’ve tried quite a few hot dog sausages and in my opinion the Yves Veggie “Veggie Dog” sausages are the best. Stay away from their “Tofu Dog” ones, though.

  10. Kitty says:

    Not exactly vegan (just an omnivore that sometimes wanders to the light side…haha. I’m more focused on dairy than meat itself), but I like their vegan dogs. Texture isn’t bad, but a little bit of ketchup turns them into something completely different. Almost exactly like an actual hot dog. :)

  11. I have an online cooking show called Vegetarian Cooking For Carnivores. Not all, but many of my dishes use imitation products. I’m trying to get people – like me – who grew up eating meat to remain vegetarians. It’s tough when you’re face to face with real spaghetti sauce or chicken stir-fry. So I try and address the needs of people who like meat…but don’t want to eat it. I agree – you don’t want to use imitation products too much. But if you’re hankering for a beef salsa taco – well, there’s an alternative. I’ve been hoping a fake pepperoni would come out, but it sounds like it’s not a success yet. Maybe some day. Thanks for the review.

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